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From libido to intimacy: how menopause can change your sex life
Written byMedico Digital
Reviewed byDr Shazia Malik
From dips in libido to physical shifts, sex can feel different during menopause. The good news? With the right support, pleasure is still on the table
Summary
1How can menopause affect your sex life?
Hormonal shifts can change desire, comfort and sensation...
2Can you orgasm after menopause?
Yes, absolutely. Orgasm is still very much on the table after menopause...
3Enjoying intimacy through menopause
Just because things change doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a fulfilling sex life...
Menopause is a natural part of life, but that doesn’t mean it comes without its fair share of unexpected changes – some physical, some emotional and many that take you by surprise in subtle ways.1
One topic that doesn’t get enough airtime? Sex. For many, the journey through menopause brings major shifts in how intimacy feels, both emotionally and physically.2 But here’s the good news: if things feel different, you’re not alone – and there are plenty of ways to reconnect with your desires and feel more like yourself again.
From vaginal dryness to libido dips, we’re breaking down the science and offering practical, no-nonsense advice on navigating sex and menopause with confidence.3
How can menopause affect your sex life?
Menopause marks the end of your periods but it can also come with changes in your sex life.1 Hormonal fluctuations, especially the drop in oestrogen, can affect everything from your libido to your comfort levels during intimacy.1,4
Common changes include:5-9
- reduced libido: as hormones shift, you may experience a drop in sex drive. You might find that you’re simply not in the mood as often as you used to be. Sometimes, the mental desire is there but the physical response is lagging behind
- vaginal dryness: oestrogen helps keep the vaginal tissue lubricated and elastic. With less of it, you might experience dryness or discomfort during sex, leading to irritation, itching and even small tears if left unaddressed
- changes in sensation: some people report changes in how sex feels – from reduced sensitivity to increased discomfort. You might also notice it takes longer to become aroused or reach orgasm
- mood shifts: anxiety, low mood and poor sleep are common during menopause and can all put a damper on your desire for sex. When you’re feeling emotionally out of sync, it’s not uncommon to feel physically disconnected too
- sleep issues and fatigue: night sweats and insomnia can leave you running on empty. When you’re exhausted, intimacy might be the last thing on your mind
It’s totally natural for your relationship with your body to evolve and that can influence how you experience intimacy, too.10 Menopause can be a reminder of ageing, especially as our reproductive years come to a close. Embracing and celebrating what our bodies have been through (and achieved!) can be challenging when things don’t look the same, hair on our heads changes or thins and odd hairs grow on our faces.
Hormone changes can affect skin and muscle tone, and make it harder to lose weight around the tummy area, too – so all in all, there are so many changes and challenges to navigate that it can feel tough.10
What’s going on in your mind matters just as much as what’s happening in your body. Feeling a bit out of sorts, disconnected or unsure is something many people experience during menopause.11 Talking things through with a therapist or trusted healthcare professional can make a real difference, offering support, perspective and space to reconnect with yourself.
Can you orgasm after menopause?
Yes, absolutely. Orgasm is still very much on the table after menopause – though it might take a little more time, intention or experimentation.4
Changes in hormone levels can affect blood flow and nerve sensitivity, which may make climax feel different.12,13 But with the right conditions (think foreplay, lubrication and open communication), many women report satisfying and even more emotionally connected experiences post-menopause.
Not having to worry about an unplanned pregnancy can also be liberating and make it easier to climax. However, protecting your sexual health remains just as important as before – especially if you have any new sexual partners.
Enjoying intimacy through menopause
Just because things change doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a fulfilling sex life. In fact, this phase can be a chance to reframe what sex means for you and your partner. From trying new approaches to seeking support, there are plenty of ways to bring pleasure and connection back into the picture.14
Here are some helpful strategies:14-19
- explore lubrication and vaginal moisturisers: products like water-based lubricants or vaginal moisturisers can help reduce friction and improve comfort during sex. Some are designed for daily use to support long-term hydration
- consider local oestrogen therapy: for some women, oestrogen creams or pessaries applied directly to the vagina can reduce dryness and discomfort. Talk to your GP for advice
- explore hormone replacement therapy (HRT): this is available in forms like patches, gels or tablets and should be discussed with a GP to understand the benefits and risks based on your health
- try mindfulness or relaxation techniques: stress and anxiety can be major roadblocks to intimacy. Mindfulness, deep breathing or guided meditations can calm the nervous system and help you feel more present and connected during intimate moments
- prioritise connection: physical intimacy isn’t just about sex. Cuddling, massages and affectionate touch all help maintain emotional closeness. Creating space for intimacy without the pressure of performance can deepen connection
- make space for spontaneity and structure: scheduling intimate time might sound unromantic but it can actually take the pressure off and help rebuild a rhythm. Pair that with moments of spontaneous affection to keep things light, playful and authentic
You might also explore different times of day when your energy is higher or set aside time to reconnect emotionally before diving into physical intimacy. Consider creating a calm, relaxing environment that puts you at ease – whether dimming the lights, playing music or simply slowing down without distractions.20
Communication is key. If sex feels different, uncomfortable or even off the radar, opening up to your partner about what you’re going through can help reduce misunderstandings and open the door to deeper intimacy.21
If talking about sex feels daunting, consider writing down your thoughts first or starting with smaller, more general conversations about how you’re feeling. It’s not about blame or expectations – it’s about staying connected, supported and on the same team.
Low libido is one of the most common concerns during menopause – but it’s not a dead end. There are ways to turn things around and feel more connected to your body:5,8,22-25
- exercise regularly: movement boosts endorphins and reduces stress. Activities like yoga or walking can also help you feel more in tune with your body
- prioritise rest: quality sleep improves energy, mood and desire. Try winding down with a calming bedtime routine and limiting screen time before bed
- experiment with new stimuli: trying new positions or using sex toys can bring a sense of novelty. Even small changes can help reignite excitement and curiosity
- explore therapy or coaching: talking to a counsellor or sex therapist can help address emotional blocks or confidence issues. Therapy can also offer a safe space to explore new desires
- check in with your GP: if low libido persists and becomes frustrating, it might be time to check in with your GP. They can test for hormonal imbalances or suggest treatment options such as HRT (including testosterone therapy if suitable). Your GP might also recommend supplements or other forms of support
Sometimes, it’s just about giving yourself permission to rest, recharge and reconnect with yourself on your own terms. Everyone’s libido is different, and that’s ok. What matters most is discovering what works for you, without comparison or pressure.
Vaginal dryness is a common menopause symptom but it doesn’t have to be a permanent barrier to pleasure. Consider the following:15,26
- use more foreplay: taking time to become aroused can naturally increase lubrication. Try slowing down, focus on sensual touch and allow anticipation to build
- avoid harsh soaps: fragranced or overly strong cleansers can disrupt your vaginal pH and make dryness worse. Stick to unscented, gentle products
- use a water-based or silicone-based lubricant during sex: these can help reduce friction, making intimacy more comfortable. Silicone-based options tend to last longer, while water-based lubricants are easy to clean and suitable for most skin types
- apply vaginal moisturisers regularly: unlike lubricants, which are used during sex, vaginal moisturisers are applied a few times a week to keep vaginal tissues hydrated and improve overall comfort
You could also try pelvic floor exercises, which may help improve blood flow and sensitivity in the vaginal area.27 They’re discreet, easy to incorporate into your daily routine and can support overall sexual function.
If dryness is making intimacy painful, speak with a healthcare professional.15 There’s no need to put up with discomfort when support and solutions are available.
The final say
Sex and menopause don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Yes, things might change – but with time, care and the right tools, you can still enjoy intimacy.14 From vaginal moisturisers to open conversations with your partner, there are plenty of ways to adapt and feel good in your body again.
If you're struggling to navigate menopause solo or with a partner, remember: your comfort, pleasure and wellbeing matter. Listen to your body, be kind to yourself and know that you’re not alone on this journey.
This chapter may look different, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Embrace it with curiosity, self-compassion and the freedom to redefine intimacy on your own terms.
Are you experiencing vaginal dryness and irritation during menopause? Discover more about vaginal atrophy – what it is, why it happens and how to manage it with care.
Disclaimer – This article provides informational advice and is not a substitute for medical care. Curated by experts for accuracy, we take great care to ensure the information is up-to-date and relevant. However, you should always consult your GP or healthcare professional before using supplements or alternative products, particularly if you have medical conditions or are under supervision.
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